I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
