Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I checked into jail on foursquare
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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