My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
