Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
