I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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