Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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