don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Your cock deserves a montage
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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