how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize