My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
