Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
