so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
