Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
