Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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