Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
