That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
