I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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