scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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