And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
