I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
