last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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