I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
