He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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