Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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