I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
is it fun? or sober?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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