come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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