so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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