Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
