I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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