And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
