On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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