Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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