u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
