The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
