Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
