that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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