Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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