She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize