Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
