Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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