I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
