This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
