Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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