i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
