I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
