the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
