the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish they made helmets for livers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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