It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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