Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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