Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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