dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
