arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
