so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
