Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
