Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize