scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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