i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
